Monday, 21 December 2009

p a s s i o n s

Chase down your passion like it's the last bus of the night.

Glade Byron Addams





say it with music.
because music represent my soul
i sing, i play, i communicate every single note, each chord, and line.
blend into words, not sing, but talk with music.

reminisce with photograph.
photography represent my idealism
how i see the world
how i love this life
how i really want to capture every moment in every second of life.

express it with design.
design represent my brain.
working with colors, channel, plate, lighting.
what a great challenge.

whisper it with writing.
writing represent my heart
each chosen words, phrase and rhyme arranged together
interpret what my mouth can't say.

call it : passions

Saturday, 19 December 2009

... and a little prayer

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Author Unknown

dec, 18th 00.00
black out
and here i am, lying on the sheet.
and close my eyes.
enter the world of dream.

dec, 18th 05.00
ordinary morning.
i hope time will travel slow today.

dec,18th 10.30
walk out from home.
i enjoy every step, every view.
i feel lonely, but free.
smell the air, feel the heat.
i wish i could freeze the time.

dec, 18th 11.30
the point of having friend beside you is it what makes you a human-being.
at some point, alone would be better,
but have a company would be best.
once again.
it depends on the needed.

dec, 18th 12.00
what i hate the most, but it's what i do the most.
we -human- will always spend our lives for waiting.

dec, 18th 18.45
never have an eye-contact with a "lady-boy"

dec, 18th 19.45
i believe we can!
better, and let's show them what's the best from us!

dec, 18th 23.00
there's a beginning and always there's an ending.
and i'm all alone.

dec, 18th. 23.55
thank you for those pre-21.

dec,19th. 00.00
it starts with a warm kiss from the-woman-that-i-loved-the-most.

dec, 19th. 00.05
t w e n t y o n e y e a r s o l d.
little prayer:

i'm thankful for every breath, every step, every move, every second that i have been through
i'm grateful for people around me, all those love and kindness, smile and embrace, tears and laugh.
i'm happy for chances that You have given me, through good times and bad times.
i'm excited to make another plans and fulfill my dreams.
i'm trying to be a better person. make a right move.
i believe that You have already set another story of my life, next step next journey to be through.
and i'm asking for Your guide, strenght and wisdom to live this life.
thank you.

191209 : 21

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.

Menachem Mendel Schneerson

i do love birthday.
since i was a kid, i used to feel excited to meet this particular date...

december, 19th.

but this year, i don't know why, i almost forgot my own birthday.
i didn't think about it, not excited, didn't prepare anything .
maybe it because of the age! hahahah
age talks, baby.
and, i think all those stuffs that i have to run also make this worst.

my point is i was totally didn't care about it.

but, i think i was wrong.

when my friends gave me a sweet surprise it made me realize that

" today is not an ordinary day! it is a day when i should celebrate, fill with love, cheers, laughs. and it is the time to re-build my plans, dreams. it is a wonderful time! it is my day!"

and that number!

t w e n t y o n e y e a r s o l d

for me, it is just a number.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!!


never missed your moment, fella!

i am a happy-birthday-girl.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

where are you christmas???

I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

-where are you Christmas-

is my favorite month of the year.
not only because i have a special moment in this month, but it's Christmas, for God's sake.
and i am really into Christmas.

actually, i love the preparation, the decoration, and the most important is i love the spirit of Christmas.
cheers, love, laughs, thrill. ooh! what a month!

there's a but..

i don't know why, BUT, i don't really feel the atmosphere of Christmas in this year.
perhaps it's because i have "too many" things to do!
and i just don't realize that today is 9 days to Christmas!

Christmas comes around.
bring back the laughter, joy and happiness.


Monday, 23 November 2009

november rain

Rain showers my spirit
and waters my soul.

Emily Logan Decens

this night,
sit back with a sip of hot chocolate
jazz fills surround
and rain is falling outside the window

the scene of chocolate
cures every inch of pain and weight
refill the joy
pull away the darkness
brings back the memories
lighten mood

the rhythm of falling rain
the melodies of jazz
the bitter of chocolate

one word:

Saturday, 21 November 2009

capture the moment

A great photograph is a full expression of what one feels about what is being photographed in the deepest sense, and is, thereby, a true expression of what one feels about life in its entirety

Ansel Adams

i really want to press the shutter right now.
capture every moment of time, and make a portfolio of life.
see the world through the lens,
the smile,
the frown,
and also
though every pose is well-nigh lies, at least someday it would take you back in time.
reminisce the old times, either it good or bad.
pictures would tell you its own story,
story, not only the object but also the man behind the gun.
story, about what one feels, idealism, and freedom to express one's dream.
story of life.

press the shutter, freeze the object, and let's capture the moment.


Monday, 16 November 2009

through the window

through the window, seeing the real world


i am sitting next to the window...
what am i thinking? Lots..
Mostly about "what will happen in the future?"
"what will i be?"

through the window
i have seen small part of the world.
i have seen homeless people, the wealthy, huts, "castle", tears, laugh, frown, smile, loner, couple, family...
those are just a tiny part of our world.
and i am just a spot among others.

through the window
i'm seeing the sky.
it's grey, cloudy, and i smelled rain.
i heard thunder, i see lightning.
the trees are dancing with the windblows.
what a view!
view that i have never enjoyed before.

through the window
i'm typing this piece..
and i'm still waiting for the snow.
could it be?

through the window
raindrops are banging like rock.
people are running, looking for a shelter.
why they didn't stay?
stay under the falling rain, dancing in the rain.
then they will understand, how god loves them.

through the window
no rain.
it's time to find a rainbow, and hope everything will be alright.
now and then.

through the window

Sunday, 15 November 2009

run to the edge of the earth

All children are artists, and it is an indictment of our culture that so many of them lose their creativity, their unfettered imaginations, as they grow older.

Madeleine L'Engle

i came to Kite Museum 2 days ago.
it's a great place, very cozy.

i met bunch of kids from Japan International School. they intended to have some workshops in Kite Museum.
my first impression of those kids is they're very independent!
97 kids visited Kite Museum with only 2 teachers.
they brought their own lunch, they prepared their own carpet, they ate together, picked up their trashes, everything was arranged, and they were stick to their time.
and one thing that amazed me, they arranged their shoes in line. one line. in one ordered line!


it surprised me, because before i met those Japanese kids, i also met bunch of kindergarten kids from Indonesia.
and if i need to compare them, GOD! as an Indonesian, i feel ashamed!
though, it's international school, but Indonesian, is still Indonesian.
those cute-and-smart kids seemed very spoiled, they didn't want to try, too pride, and they couldn't able to stand on their feet.
and their parents, didn't give any chance to let their kids learn to be independent. they seemed too worried, lacked faith.
one thing that amused me, it was a workshop for the kids, opportunities for the kids to express their art, but it seemed the teachers were more excited than them.
and their shoes! ha! don't ask!
just imagine : you go to the 70% off SHOES SALES.

there's no one to blame. it's our spoiled culture. everything that had been taught, just a piece of unmemorable shit!
sorry to say, but it's the truth!
even the most expensive school could not change this phenomenon.
it has already lived in our blood.
we've never allowed to have our own journey, we had many "NOs"and "DON'Ts"
too much dictation, everything based on textbook, but never consider the reality
everything seems ideal, but it doesn't!!!
that what made us non-independent kind of person.

how to change this phenomenon?
how to be independent?

me :
i will let them run.


Thursday, 12 November 2009

pride and the downfall

Pride comes before a fall


i am not in the good mood.

here is the thing.
you are going to communication school but several people couldn't communicate in a good way, and then -voila- bloody mis-understanding happens!


"you thought you were right, sir??
come on! admit it!
you were wrong!

and you wrecked my day.

made everything became useless!

lesson from this: i will bring a recording tape!

ok. that's not what am i going to say.

i need to write about "too proud" people.


what do you get from you pride? some say, it is important to have a pride, but if it becomes too much, then it's all wrong! people will act like "i am the one who's right! you should respect me, do whatever i told to. because i have the obligation. the superior! and i am better and more important than you!"

hell no!

pride is your downfall, fella!
time will reveal.


Monday, 9 November 2009

always a bridesmaid, never a bride

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Align Centre

Mary Schmich

I'm back. ;)

I've just watched 27 dresses [again!]. though it's very predictable, but it's still funny.
and when i was watching this movie, i realized something and suddenly i felt PANG!

here is the problem.

The main character, Jane Nichols is a very idealistic, energetic, smart, and independent woman. She has a good career, she has a great slutty-and-cynical best friend, but she has one mistake! she has never said NO in her entire life.!
She can’t speak up for herself to get what she wants or say no to any request, no matter how insane it may be.

yeah! yes, yes, yes!

most of times, we [or specifically, ME] are having difficulty for saying NO to any request. it's like a bad habit actually, i mean, when you are trying to please anybody by doing everything they asked, it same like you are killing yourself. you just like being puppet, robot! [where in the world have i been??].

i don't mean to be rude, actually i make this post because i want to wake my self up!
you know what, when i saw Jane's case, it was like seeing my reflection! ok, sometimes i tried to be brave to say NO. but most of times, i just couldn't resist it.

i noted this line from 27 dresses :

"You'd rather focus on other people's Kodak moments than make memories of your ow

oh no! i don't want that happen! i want to remember every single moment in my life, every step, every
breath. what's the point if i always trying to please everybody but i've never ever get my own moments and never feel pleased of myself??

i wanna learn how to put myself in appropriate time and place, so when i have to say YES, then i'll say YES, and if not, i'll say NO in a polite way. Saying "no" is not a sin! and i need to learn how to say "no". i believe it's hard, i feel so guilty for saying NO, but i really need to TRY IT! though it may be hurt other's feeling, but i think a true friend will try to understand why you had to say “no”, even if it takes them a few days (or weeks or months) to get over it.

i need to give my self sort of priorities, take care of my own problem, and speak up for myself.
i want to find my own KODAK moments. i don't wanna miss it.
wish me luck!


Monday, 2 November 2009

a cone of strawberry sorbet

Always show the you in you that makes you the you that you are.

Chidinma Obietikponah

I'm not feeling well right now.
is it because of a scoop of strawberry sorbet?
ha! i don't think so, strawberry sorbet gave me another lesson!


you know, strawberry sorbet offers you a different flavor, it soft, light and refreshing. it doesn't require an ice cream maker, it's pure but it's still delicious.

I'd like to draw an analogy between strawberry sorbet and being different!

yap! in this life, we should have our principles.
you don't have to struggle to be another person! just be you! it is not about how to be perfect, how to fit in your community, the truth is if they're really good for you, then they should appreciate whoever kind of person you are. be different fella! find your own personality, your own path to live in this world, don't be a anybody's puppet! you are who you are. then others will take you the way you are.
being different is not a crime. that what makes our world colorful!

well, try to be strawberry sorbet, when the other flavors offer the same taste, strawberry sorbet gives it own flavor. unique, and people still love it!

dare to be different fella, it makes you more valuable!



Sunday, 1 November 2009

reflecting hearts

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.

William Wordsworth


hmm. you know what, this "blogging" thing, actually, i kinda like it.
it maybe began with sort of obligation -for my final grade- which made me stressed out. i have no writing skills for heaven's sake! i didn't know what am i going to write! movie review? some informative news? photo sharing? my activities? etc. i really had no idea! TOTALLY BLANK! i didn't know when to start, where to start!

that's why i named it "The Long Morrow"

then, when i had to begin to write for my first post, it really sucked! so lame! i tried and tried [talked about movie, current-affair, politics, education!! GOSH! hahahah]. and the result was NOTHING!

so, i decided to sit back, listened to music, and suddenly i got my a-ha moment! i started to type and type and type everything that went in my mind, i tried to speak something that i couldn't say with my mouth, everything that i kept in my heart, it just burst into words, not much but it's really from the deepest of my heart.

yeah it's funny, when you hardly try to do something just for formality, and you don't really mean it, it's just like a rubbish, trash! unimportant, meaningless. but if you use your heart, with passion, and not being intimidated by your own work, you'll find it fascinating, easy and you'll be pleased with the result. that's what i feel with this writing thing. maybe i am not really great writer, i often used repetition, grammar errors, yeah that stuffs, but i do this because i want it, because it came from my heart.

whisper your heart fella.


Thursday, 29 October 2009

learn how to fly

When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly

Edward Teller


I've learned a new lesson of life.
it began with something that my friend called "relaxation time".
well, i think it was not really "relaxation" thing, it's a bit more "release your deepest-pain" thing.

like it or not, we will always face it. the problem is "could you handle it?".

I always think that i will keep my super-duper-deepest-pain alone, forever. it bloody hurts. but i just don't wanna make others feel sorry for me, and i believe that we all have our own "deepest-pain".
every person has a different kind of pain. it depends on your childhood, your past, and your background. and we -human- are really genius on how we cover our "pain". a-ha! I'm one of that kind of person. you may know me as a very energetic-expressive-lots of laughs-happy person. yeah! i do have a big pain in my life, but i never want to think or recall it.

well, you have to try to think that every moment of your life, either it makes you hurt, or happy, it came for a reason. you are not the only person who has a "deep-hole" in your life. let it makes you stronger, ready to face the world, ready to be a part of the world.

let the rain ease your pain fellas. then you will be ready to fly.



Tuesday, 27 October 2009

to whom it may concern

Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person. "

Sophia Bush

first of all, please note that i just want to give an opinion, "my from-the-deepest-of-my-heart-kind-of opinion" in my point of view about this marriage thing, so no offense for anyone who wants to get married at young age. ok.

here we go,

being 20 something is bloody hard! yeah, it's the time when you will hear words "marriage" many times, over and oveeeer again.

well, marriage.
marriage is a HUGE STEP of your life. i mean, once u get married, it will last for forever. u have to work for it.
yeah. FOREVER. so u have to think of it zillion times, at least u need to "truly" believed and have faith in your husband-to-be.
Getting married at young age, some of you maybe ever think about it. it's your choice. i don't say that getting married in young age is bad for you, but my questions in my mind are " are you really mean it? are you prepared for this?", come on, it is not like you're having a bad relationship , and suddenly you can ditched everything up, find another man, and start again from the beginning, and live happily ever after. please, it's not a fairytale, everything is not as perfect as in the movie, guys!

hmm. actually, i'm not a big fan of this "getting married in young age", so it's very disturbing when i came to family gathering and all they could say just "where is your boyfriend? when will you get married?" . PLEASE! I'M 20, too young to think about MARRIAGE.
well, my role model [read: mum] was 30, when she decided to get married. and she still can be my bestfriend and my mother at the same time (i mean most of people think that married in a young age can make you have a perfect amity with your kids).
but in fact, with their "we don't have anything in common anymore" reason, which very cliché for me, many of young couples nowadays will end up in divorces. as you've seen in tv, or read in magazines, there are lots and lots and loots of divorces. God! Marriage is not to have anything in common, for Heaven's sake! everybody is different! it's about how you make those differences blend together, with share, respect each other, and struggle together! you have to fight for it!

so, for me, i really love sophia bush's quote above, that "Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person", who cares if i will end up married at my 20-ish 30-ish, 40-ish, whatsoever. what's to hurry? i need to fulfil my dreams, i want to travel around the world, i want to do crazy things, i want to enjoy my life, i want to be independent, have a nice career, live in my own apartment - with or without a man - . a-ha!

but once again, it's about your choice, your preparation, your thoughts, and your time. i believe that everything in ourlives will happen for a reason.
so guys, marriage is not something to worry about. you'll find a man in a right time. sit back and relax. enjoy your time.

from the deepest of my heart,


Monday, 26 October 2009

you just fall, just fall

Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's
called falling in love, because you don't force
yourself to fall, you just fall.

~ Unknown ~


i can't believe i bring this up!

ok. now. let's talk about LOVE and RELATIONSHIP

haha. it's not my favorite things to share actually, but i think i need to make this clear! hhahaha

OK. well, it's been 4 years I haven't in any of relationships, and also it has been FOUR YEARS, everybody seems pretty concern about it! puh-lease, i just need a break. long-term break to enjoy my life. my own life!

hmm. I'm not afraid with a commitment, but i think i haven't got a right man to work together in a relationship! the truth is I love to be loved, but I DON'T LIKE TO BE CHANGED. if i wanna change my life, then I'll do it by myself, not by somebody who doesn't know me at all and suddenly wants to turn my life upside-down!

"someday", I'll find a RIGHT MAN, in a RIGHT PLACE, and in a RIGHT TIME. and i think I'll be ready for that "moment". i just fall, just fall.

for now, let it be this way, I'm single, and HAPPY.

all the love,


Thursday, 22 October 2009

another rainy day

“Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass… it’s about learning how to dance in the rain!”
–Vivian Greene

18.30 polda metro, sudirman.
it started to rain, suddenly i thought "Great, it will take a looonggg time to catch home"
sebetulnya, gw gak terlalu anti-hujan, tapi ada kalanya hujan membuat waktu berasa sangaaaaat panjang! dan ini terjadi disaat gw harus bisa mengefisiensikan waktu dengan baik.
dan gw memutuskan untuk tidur.

20.30 fatmawati, jakarta
M A C E T T O T A L.

21.00 fly over, ciputat, tangerang
banjir. kesaaal banget, rasanya sangaaat gak adil, orang2 sepertinya gak perlu sampai seperti gw, yang butuh berjam-jam untuk sampai di rumah, gak perlu susah-susah jalan jauuuh cuma untuk PULANG.
tapi entah, tiba-tiba gw mulai perhatiin orang-orang sekitar. ekspresi mereka beda-beda, mereka datang dari latar belakang yang berbeda, punya masalah yang berbeda, seketika itu juga gw merasa sangat egois, gak bersyukur, cuma bisa ngeluh.
gw uda sangaaat diberkati dengan "keluar kampus belum hujan, langsung dapat bis, dapat tempat duduk yg nyaman, gak kepanasan, gak keujanan" dan gw masih aja kesel sendiri.

22.00 home

terima kasih hujan.


Wednesday, 21 October 2009

morning tea

The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn't, matters not a jot. The possibility is always there.
~Monica Baldwin

today is the beginning of a new day!!!
banyak sekali yang harus dikerjakan hari ini, rasanya 24 jam sehari itu gak cukup. pernah gak si kalian berasa kalo ini CUKUUP! gak sanggup lagi kerjain tugas, berangkat pagi disaat orang-orang masih terlelap, kembali ketemu macetnya Jakarta, kembali menempuh perjalanan jauh dan lama. setiap bangun pagi, gw selalu merasa "CUKUUP! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! Capek banget rasanya untuk kembali memulai aktivitas!", dan seperti biasa superwoman di sebelah gw akan bilang "morning dear, mommy kerja dulu yaa! kamu semangat ya! tuhan berkati!", huff!! serasa PULUHAN KILO DI ATAS KEPALA GW GAK BERASA APA2!!
seneng banget rasanya punya ibu sekaligus sahabat, she's my everything! hehehhe. *melankolis banget!
intinyaa. yaah, kembali gw bakal berpikir "yaudalah, jalanin ajaa, toh hari ini gw bakal ketemu hal-hal baru lagi, ketemu orang baru lagi, jangan dipikirin jauhnya, capeknya, karena semakin dipikir akan semakin berasa capek."


semangat kawans!


Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Greetings from Venus

"The beginning is the most important part of the work"

Here we are.
It takes 48hours for me to begin this blog! Geez, it's hard! hahahah.
I'm not a kind of person who loves to write. yap! gw suka baca, tapi bukan tipe orang yang pandai merangkai kata-kata. Kenapa sampai bisa 2 hari buat mulai blog ini, karena gw sangat percaya pada first impression! because you'll never get a second chance to make a first impression, right?
So, this is it! I'll start with something so simple, Greetings from Venus.