Monday, 9 November 2009

always a bridesmaid, never a bride

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Align Centre

Mary Schmich

I'm back. ;)

I've just watched 27 dresses [again!]. though it's very predictable, but it's still funny.
and when i was watching this movie, i realized something and suddenly i felt PANG!

here is the problem.

The main character, Jane Nichols is a very idealistic, energetic, smart, and independent woman. She has a good career, she has a great slutty-and-cynical best friend, but she has one mistake! she has never said NO in her entire life.!
She can’t speak up for herself to get what she wants or say no to any request, no matter how insane it may be.

yeah! yes, yes, yes!

most of times, we [or specifically, ME] are having difficulty for saying NO to any request. it's like a bad habit actually, i mean, when you are trying to please anybody by doing everything they asked, it same like you are killing yourself. you just like being puppet, robot! [where in the world have i been??].

i don't mean to be rude, actually i make this post because i want to wake my self up!
you know what, when i saw Jane's case, it was like seeing my reflection! ok, sometimes i tried to be brave to say NO. but most of times, i just couldn't resist it.

i noted this line from 27 dresses :

"You'd rather focus on other people's Kodak moments than make memories of your ow

oh no! i don't want that happen! i want to remember every single moment in my life, every step, every
breath. what's the point if i always trying to please everybody but i've never ever get my own moments and never feel pleased of myself??

i wanna learn how to put myself in appropriate time and place, so when i have to say YES, then i'll say YES, and if not, i'll say NO in a polite way. Saying "no" is not a sin! and i need to learn how to say "no". i believe it's hard, i feel so guilty for saying NO, but i really need to TRY IT! though it may be hurt other's feeling, but i think a true friend will try to understand why you had to say “no”, even if it takes them a few days (or weeks or months) to get over it.

i need to give my self sort of priorities, take care of my own problem, and speak up for myself.
i want to find my own KODAK moments. i don't wanna miss it.
wish me luck!



FINA said...

It's very good that you've realised the importance of saying no. Well, you have a kind heart and sometimes ppl (including me) take advantage of it. Therefore I'm asking your forgiveness here ;) Just say no if you don't like it and if they don't like it, fck 'em. lol. Honestly I never have a problem with this kind of thing since I'm more of the slutty/cynical best friend kind of person rather than the kind-hearted heroine. But hey, you'll find your moment! Bonne chance!

laura said...

hhi. no prob dear.
i should have learned how to say "no" from you!! my best slutty-cynical-evil friend!
ayo guruu, ajari akuu! hahaahha

FINA said...

hhahahaha first thing first learn how to use the "can we share the umbrella" phrase. hahahahhaha

laura said...

instead of hitchhike? hahahah.

Virna said...

I've been here before and yes I got frustrated sometimes. I mean, why do I have to think (too much) about someone's feeling who doesn't care mine? I'm still facing this once in a while, but my painful experiences definitely gives me power to say 'NO' ;)

...AdikrisnA_nyez... said...

i'm the one who should be thanking you because your post remind me to myself a couple years ago.
There's a time when i couldn't say NO and it ruined my life.
i hate myself when people use me as their tools. i humble myself but they in turn use me for my brain,strenght,creative side/idea,even my worthy time.
i realized i have to say NO for something that wasting my time,bother myself,or something that's not my job.

and as you said, i will keep your words 'speak up for yourself' be my alert! ;D

laura said...

yeah, we can girls!!

KarSkarSekar said...

nice piece!
yeah. it's so dang hard saying NO. you may feel like hurting others. but hey, sometimes it's better to hurt others than to hurt ourselves haha *i said, sometimes*
and is it really hurt? sometimes we just see it from our pov. which means, sometimes it's us who feel uneasy, while, in fact, others just feel ok about it.
so don't, just don't be afraid to say no. we live not for others only, we live for ourselves too.
moreover, i guess it's not only the difficulty to say "NO". somehow, we find problems to say "NO" or "YES" in the proper place, at the proper time, to the proper person. :|

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