because you are my best.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

Washington Irving

you are the one who carried me through day and night.
you are the one who took the risk so i could smell the air.
you are the one who fed me up when i was too weak to swallow.
you are the one who sang me a lullaby.
you are the one who gently caressed me when i was crying.
you are the one who patiently woke up in the middle of the night to watch me.
you are the one who secretly kissed me when i was asleep.
you are the one who teaches me the good and bad
you are the one who cheered me up when i'm down
you are the one who tenderly nursed me when i was sick
you are the one who publicly tells that you're proud of me
you are the one who hid your tears to make me strong
you are the one who supports me to chase my dreams
you are the one who provides everything i need
you are the one who shed my tears when i fell
you are the one who read my mind
you are the one who covers me in the rainy day
you are the one who sacrificed your freedom for me
you are the one who held me so tight when i was weak.
you are the one who stays late just to open the gate for me
you are the one who argues with me
you are the one who sleeps next to me

you are my very best friend
you are my supermom
you are my guardian angel
you are my number one supporter
you are my life
you are my mom.


you have filled me everything i need.


this breezy morning, i came to your bed and kissed you softly.
whispered "happy Mother's Day, i love you, ibu".


your daughter.

Chapter 22 :

December, 19th 2010.
03.16 AM

dear Lord Jesus,
thank you for the wonderful journey that you gave me in previous year.
i'm thankful for every moment that i've been through, every step that i've taken, the ups and downs, bitter or sweet memories.
i'm just a little girl who just opened the new chapter of my life.
i'm not wishing for the stars, nor the moon.
this year, i need your guidance, and strength to run this utter world, to chase my dreams.
i'm absolutely nothing without You.

please, bless my family, bless my friends, all the people that i loved.
You've sent them to me, to bring joy and cheer, to lift me through good times and bad times.
i wanna be a good person, to care and love them all.

i believe that you've prepared a new adventures for me. a new chapter.
achievements, obstacles, tears and joy, i would enjoy every second of it.

dear Lord Jesus,
i slip a little prayer for one superwoman.
she's my bestfriend, my guardian angel, my beloved mother.
bless her, watch her.
i wouldn't be here without her.
she might has wrinkles and grey hair, but she will always be my best friend, my supermom.

dear Lord Jesus,
send me Your Angel, give me Your light.
i'm a little girl who eager to know Your plan.
i'm a litlle girl who ready to start Your plan.
i'm a little girl who just opened a new chapter of life.
Chapter 22.

thank you.

colour of diversity

Diversity is not about how we differ. Diversity is about embracing one another's uniqueness.

Ola Joseph

when we were a kid, school, parents told us about appreciate the differences, negociate the cultural challenges in society, tolerate it. religion also taught about 'respect' each other.

diversity is something that we could not resist. If someone has asked the diversity question, people always answer with "ooh yeah, we have to respect each other, diversity will make our life more colorful, etc". But sometimes i wonder, that's only a bullshit answer. when you get back to your family's value and culture, they will order you to have a partner who has the same culture with you. that's the platinum rule.

so, what's the point of diversity, respect, appreciate that they've been taught to us since we were a kid? in the end, it's always come back to stereotype, generalization, and hegemony. ebony will always be with ebony, and so does ivory. if there's a chance ebony end up with ivory, again, society will see that differently.

i'm so sick of these. i grew up in a multicultural environment. i have bunch of friends with a different ethnic, there's no majority and minority. we respect each other, and we negotiate our identity and cultural differences. i can learn other's culture, and vice versa. but when it comes to a big family gathering (and they're coming from a place that one culture is a majority) it will back to generalization and stereotyping. no more ebony and ivory.

so (again) what's the point of the colour of diversity, people?

november rain : 10 years later.

Nothing falls like London Rain

Heather Nova

this november rain really set my mood.

i'm wondering, where will i be in 10 years later?

i wanna see the same rain,
same rainbow,

but

different view,
different street.

wearing trench coat.
holding the umbrella.
walking down London town.

hmm. who knows?

human and construct

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

Maya Angelou

every human has their own construct, they only see what they want to see and give meaning by what they've had in their mind.

it makes you, it's you, and me it's me.

i realize that, and thank god, i chose communication as my major, i learn about communication, message, and so forth. this "construct" thing based on constructivism theory. it assumes that human will interpret message by his own knowledge in their mind. it makes an immense effect on our daily relationship with others, right!?

well, this what makes me sometimes do not understand why people complain in everything. don't get me wrong here. i used to be a very bad complainer / grumbler / crybaby / sniveller *you named it* . and at some point, i reached my turning point, someone slapped me right in the face, and woke me up that, i didn't have something to complain about. i have a great life, super-loving-care-hardworking mom, goods to eat, and even comfy blanket to crawl in.

what else?

i mean, i know that i also have imperfection, sometimes i feel kinda mess, and universe seems didn't give any damn thing to support me. but, c'est la vie, right? you will face your ups, but you can't turn your back from your downs. because it what makes you a successful and humble person.

nothing to complain about, fella.

i just read an article in marketeers magazine. it's about twitter and people who likes to complain everything on their tweets. we're not an expertise, nor the perfect person. traffic, floods, accident are not an easy thing to solve. governors with all their bullshits are not God who can fix everything in the same time. it takes time, long time. so, instead of complaining, why we don't start to act in other way, i mean, if you complain on traffic, why don't you move or rent a room which near to your office or campus?

this morning, again, i faced the "come-on-can-you-please-stop-complaining?" moment. but then, i started to let it go, because as i said earlier every human has their own construct. we need to appreciate whatever others think. we can't force others to agree with us. it's a rights.

just start to look at your own attitude. less complaining. start to see that God has given you everything, and there are a lot of unfortunate people out there. if we could save our complain and start to think about them, world especially our states will be a better place. better, but not perfect.

no offense, fella.

“There were people who went to sleep last night,
poor and rich and white and black,
but they will never wake again.

And those dead folks would give anything at all
for just five minutes of this weather
or ten minutes of plowing.

So you watch yourself about complaining.
What you’re supposed to do
when you don’t like a thing is change it.
If you can’t change it,
change the way you think about it”

Maya Angelou

problems : 3 x 3

But everyday problems are very mixed - they're not clear

Erno Rubik

i've been spending time with Rubik's lately.

trying to complete those three layers, and 6 sides.

it's totally hard, confusing, fun and exciting !

take much efforts to solve the cube

turn it right

turn it left

up

and down

till I get the right pattern!

well, i think, that's how we suppose to see our problems.

we, human, have many problems. sometimes we feel like ours is the most horrible-unsolved problem in the world, but there's always a way to solve it. *wink*

you could try many ways to find the right pattern. right, left, maybe up or down.

seek from every side.

there's always a chance.!

and when you finally accomplish it, you've already had a trick to face the future *wink*

go Rubik's ! go !

and rain will wash away what's past

“One more day all on my own.

One more day with him not caring.

What a life I might have known.

But he never saw me there!”

Les Miserables

10.45

i'm looking at the blinking cursor.

bringing back the memories, picture of you.

you walked down the aisle.

with that infectious smile.

though i knew it was not right

though i knew you'll never be mine.

but still..

you have entered my life.

and i feel no regret, though it hurts so extremely bad.

"you're here, that's all i need to know" :)

8.35. hearing my own heart.

Love.
sometimes seems real.
sometimes bring happiness.
sometimes unpredictable.
sometimes miserable.
sometimes out of control.
sometimes impossible.
sometimes easy.
sometimes hard to find.
sometimes rotten.
sometimes absurd.
sometimes untouchable.
sometimes genuine.
sometimes numb.
sometimes silly.
sometimes complicated.
sometimes blind.
sometimes retarded.


sometimes...
UNREQUITED.

and

most of times ...

hurts.

dream a little dream of me

Dreams are free, so free your dreams.

Astrid Alauda


The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers.
But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.

dreamer.
i am a big dreamer.


i remember, someone told me that i am such a loser who have lots of unreachable and impossible dreams.
well, i believe that every successful stories begin with a little dream.
dream about your future, dream about your life, dream about everything.
one thing that you don't have to spent even one single penny is DREAM.

in our childhood, we used to dream about princess, castles, heroes, extraordinary abilities, etc.
then, we've started to realize that those are not real, and we've made another realistic dream.
and voila!
i'm not saying that every dreams will come true.
but with effort, believe, courage, discipline anything will come true, right?

now
i keep reminding myself about my dream!
my dream job, dream home, dream family, dream..
dream..

i know, i need to wake up and reach my dreams.
i realize.
i will do my best to fulfill my dreams.

dreaming is not a crime, guys!
i assure you.

have a plenty of dreams, guys.

let's dream
and see you at London Eye *wink*

perfect ending

there's a beginning, but also there's an ending.

beginning.

every beginning starts with awkwardness, doubt, lack of commitment, etc.
it's hard. bloody hard. prepared anything by ourselves.
time after time.
all those rehearsals,
laugh,
tears,
sweat,
energy,
money,
efforts,
turned into joy and love.

everything was worthwhile!
we became a very great clan.


ending.

well, like i said before.
there's a beginning, but there's also an ending...

it's like a perfect ending for us.
perfect ending to begin another story of us.
story of a friendships.

love you all my ANASTASIA-clan
thank you so much for everything that we've been through together.
it's such an honor to be your Stage Manager, guys.
love you all.


let's find our JOURNEY TO THE FUTURE....

happily ever after

If you see the magic in a fairy tale, you can face the future.

Danielle Steel



do you know

Cinderella
Snow White
Aurora
Ariel
Princess Jasmine

or

the newest Disney's Princess...

Tiana

I believe, you do know them.

Well, the fact is they filled our childhood, with those magic, handsome prince, dancing, palace, wizard, speaking animals, happily ever after....
well. that's them. that's our lovely fairytale.

i know, they all made up, a fairytale, they don't exist. but have you ever thought that "they have made us have a dream, full of love, they've made us believe that we are brave and we could find our 'true love's kiss', true love."
despite of all critics, stereotypes, and fantasy, for me, i will see it from a positive sight, a side of a girl. that DREAMS.. our dreams will do come true.

I'm writing this piece after i watched Enchanted (again), well i quote some of their lines:

"fairytale is a set up, but maybe, something wonderful will happen, because dreams do come true"

and i need you to feel these lyrics, ost from Enchanted

"Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true
Deep down inside we want to believe they still do
In our secretest heart, it's our favourite part of the story
Let's just admit we all want to make it to

Ever ever after
If we just don't get it our own way
Ever ever after
It may only be a wish away

Start a new fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve
Sometimes you reach what's real just by making believe
Unafraid, unashamed
There is joy to be claimed in this world
You even might wind up being glad to be you

Ever ever after
Though the world will tell you it's not smart

Ever ever after
The world can be yours if you let your heart
Believe in ever after

No wonder your heart feels it's flying
Your head feels it's spinning
Each happy ending's a brand new beginning
Let yourself be enchanted, you just might break through

To ever ever after
Forever could even start today
Ever ever after
Maybe it's just one wish away
Your ever ever after

(I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss)

Oh, for ever ever ever after"


well,
fairytale offer us "happy ending story"
but each happy ending is a brand new beginning!
let those magic, and dreams do come true fella.

let's dream.

trust, and whatever wil be, will be

Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's.

Billy Wilder

sometimes i just don't know what to say
sometimes i just wanna run
sometimes i just wanna hide

i don't care
i don't judge
i don't take sides

trust me.
believe me.
lift me.

let me do this!